The Lamb of Forgiving Love
Eros: Reciprocal Love
The original New Testament was written in Greek, all 27 books. Specifically, it was written in a form of Greek called Koine Greek. In that Greek, the common word for love is eros. Eros means love. In Plato’s dialogues (Plato ~428-348 BC), eros is used hundreds and hundreds of times. It doesn’t just mean as we think of it today in English - erotic love, sexual love. It does mean that kind of love, love between a man and a woman sexually, but it means far more than that. It’s basically the love of mutual reciprocation. So indeed, you could say about your husband or wife or girlfriend or boyfriend “I love you” and you use eros. But you also use eros when you say I love God. I pray to God. God hears my prayers. God answers me. I pray to God and we have this mutual relationship. You’d use eros. But you could also use it analogically. For example, in English, you’d say, “I love a McDonald’s hamburger,” eros would be the word. It’s the common ordinary word that’s used, without exception, in Greek for love.
If you were translating the Greek version of the New Testament, you would supply the one English word “love” to cover several words that might be used for love in the Greek. This is similar to using the single English word “snow” to express the 50 or so Inuit words used by Eskimos for types of snow and ice.
In the English translation of the New Testament. the word love, L O V E, occurs 338 times. Of the 338 times in the English New Testament that love appears, the original Greek word being translated is NOT eros. Eros does not appear on a single occasion in the Greek New Testament! This is extraordinary! There is no way that eros could not appear unless those people doing the writing over a period of anywhere from 20 to 80 years after Jesus were totally conscious that this word eros did not describe the love that was salvific.
The word that DOES occur in the Greek Bible is agape. 318 times of the 338 times that the word love appears in the English New Testament, the word being translated is agape. The other 20 times the word that is in the Greek is philia, which means brotherly or sisterly love, like Philadelphia. Philia, a brotherly/sisterly kind of affection. Agape is the word in all the great sayings that we know of Jesus about love starting with “Love the Lord, your God, with your whole heart, whole soul, whole mind, and whole strength. Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mt 23:37-40; Lk 10:27). The word is agape. Love of enemies, the word is agape. In Paul’s great love chapter of 1 Corinthians 13, he writes “If I have all the eloquence of men and of angels but am without love I am nothing at all, etc.” In that chapter, 1 Corinthians 13, every time the word love is used it’s agape. Every time it’s agape.
Eros Lasts Only As Long As the Reciprocation
So, what does agape mean? Agape means unconditional care or love. So, we see the difference immediately between eros and agape. To the Greek, eros is a love of mutual reciprocation. In erotic love, there is always something I am getting back and that something must be there or else I can’t even use the word. So, for example, you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and let’s say your girlfriend. You’re in love with this girl and you’re calling her up on the phone and you’re on the phone talking to her and you want to go out with her, seven nights a week! Every time the phone rings — “Is that her?” A good feeling comes whenever she calls. Then after some disagreement, and that feeling leaves, and the phone rings. and before someone grabs the phone, you say “Geez, tell her I’m not here. Tell her I’m not here.” You can’t even use the word eros here; there’s not any mutual reciprocation [any longer.] [While this is no longer eros, it certainly is not agape!] So, that is what the eros is.
You love God. You pray to God. God answers your prayers. Everything goes well. Then suddenly you pray to God, God doesn’t answer your prayers. As a matter of fact, things go terrible. Then suddenly, you don’t even know if God exists. You don’t pray to God anymore. It meant the love was erotic and you were in a situation of mutual reciprocation. It’s love, but it is eros. The important thing here is that eros never appears once in the New Testament.
In the meaning of the word agape, there’s no concern for reciprocation. The only concern is there’s a need there. Period. [Note that McCarthy, from here on, brings up the idea of a “need” which seems to be a trigger for extending one’s agape to others. This current discussion is intended to clarify our notion of “love” with respect to the notions of agape and eros. Another study could delve into the many “needs” which might elicit an agape response. McCarthy does not expand on the word “need.”] Nothing more than that there’s a need there. It doesn’t mean the reciprocation has to be bad. What it means is you love on the basis of the need, not on the basis of what you’re getting back. You love not because you’re going to convert someone to Christianity. You love because the person is hurting. It’s that simple.
Now you should recognize how you could never “Love your enemies” with eros. Eros could never be the word for that type of love because the enemy is the one that gives you negative reciprocation. Love your enemies can only be implemented using agape because it requires unconditional love. The enemy is a human being. The enemy is in need and therefore you love him or her.
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God is love. The Greek translation written phonetically is “Ho Theos Agape Estin.” [ο Θεός είναι αγάπη] God is unconditional love and care. It’s when we live in that spirit that we live in God. How many of us condition our love -- condition our love on getting what we want, or use our love to make conditions on other people’s lives? If you love me, you will do this. That’s not God. God loves. God forgives. God doesn’t manipulate. God loves just because there’s a need for love.
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… love as Christ loved—the New Commandment—… John 15: 12-13 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”
an adaptation of Emmanuel Charles McCarthy’s transcript of one of his video presentations. The link to that transcript is below. http://www.emmanuelcharlesmccarthy.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Behold-the-Lamb-FINAL-Transcript.pdf]